Overheard my sister say 'she wasn't ready to be a mom' and it hit me different

I was at a family barbecue last Sunday and overheard my sister talking to her friend about giving up her baby at 17. She said she 'wasn't ready to be a mom' and that phrase stuck with me all week. My own birth mom gave me up when I was 2 days old, and I always thought it was because she didn't love me or something. But hearing my sister say those same words made me realize maybe my birth mom just felt trapped or scared too. It kinda shifted how I see my whole story now. Has anyone else had a moment where something small like a overheard comment changed how you think about your birth mom?

2 comments

2 Comments

simoncarr11d ago

Used to carry a lot of anger toward my birth mother for leaving. Always figured she just didn't care enough to stick around. Then a few years back my cousin gave up a baby and said pretty much the exact same thing, that she wasn't ready and couldn't handle it. Made me realize it's not always about love or not wanting the kid. Sometimes people are just in a position where they know they can't give what the baby needs, and that takes guts to admit. Changed my whole view on the situation after that.

james_ross11d ago

Wait, did she actually go through with the adoption? My cousin did the same thing at 16. Gave her baby up to strangers. Entire family was pissed. But she told me years later she couldn't even look at baby stuff in stores without breaking down. Said she'd rather live with the pain of missing out than fail that kid. That hit me hard too. Sometimes walking away is the hardest thing you can do for someone else. Your sister saying that out loud probably surprised herself too. People don't realize how much weight those words carry until they say them.