Coffee with my birth mom changed how I see the holidays

I met my birth mother for the first time at a diner in Portland two weeks ago and she told me she still thinks about me every Christmas morning. She said she always pictures me opening a gift from her even though she knows I never got one. Has anyone else felt guilty about not knowing how to include your birth mom in holiday traditions?

2 comments

Log in to join the discussion

Log In

2 Comments

jordan1844mo ago

My cousin was in the exact same spot three years ago with her birth dad. The guilt hit her hardest around Thanksgiving because she felt like she was picking sides between two families. She started doing this thing where she sends her birth mom a small ornament every year with a note about what she's grateful for. It's simple and doesn't have to be a whole tradition overhaul. That way she feels included without the pressure of having her at the table on December 25th.

7

richard_ramirez4mo ago

Thirty seven ornaments. That's what my aunt has from her birth mom who started doing this exact thing like ten years ago. I almost dropped my phone reading that you got told about picturing you opening a gift every Christmas morning. That's a heavy thing to hear over coffee at a diner. The ornament idea works but man, the mental image of her imagining a gift you never got is rough. I don't know how you kept it together in that booth.

3